Thursday, August 03, 2006

the english language is a funny thing - part 2

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"

8 Comments:

Blogger Ruth said...

That was really funnny Nix - preachers praught!!!

You are witty.

Thu Aug 03, 12:16:00 PM  
Blogger Nixter said...

Glad you like it, I got it in an email. Funny huh.

Thu Aug 03, 12:18:00 PM  
Blogger Bron said...

That is funny! hmm, it may actually have something to do with the way English was standardized. As far as I recall, the guy who did was a printer who wanted his product to sell widely so for commercial reasons he took bits from all the dialects and spellings everwhere around the place. Something like that anyway.

Thu Aug 03, 07:52:00 PM  
Blogger Nixter said...

cool info Bron. It is funny, it's so wierd when you read it like they have put it..

Thu Aug 03, 07:57:00 PM  
Blogger mike said...

Nix are you a chavette? :P

Thu Aug 03, 11:23:00 PM  
Blogger Nixter said...

LOL Mike ;P

Fri Aug 04, 11:04:00 AM  
Blogger Nixter said...

Mike I am more of a Pikey actually ;p

Fri Aug 04, 11:56:00 AM  
Blogger Priscilla said...

It was very entertaining. Some of it seemed familiar...I must have recieved something like it in an email once.

I studied some German in college and my Austrian professor was always commenting about the strangeness of the English language.

Fri Aug 04, 11:27:00 PM  

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